Haterade: march madness astrology edition
Haterade: march madness astrology edition
also, audi crooks!
We have some housekeeping before we get into our rant and links for the week. Today’s links will be divided into three sections: March Madness reading, general sports-related reading, and culture-related reading. I’ve got a lot of stuff for you so if you’re reading this in your inbox, you will likely have to open it in your browser to access the whole thing.
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Let’s get to it.
Instead of a rant for you today, I have some fun sports astrology content1. Enjoy!
The NCAA March Madness tournament is happening during Aries season. Aries, known for being competitive, is a Mars-ruled sign and Mars also rules war and sports. Essentially, a basketball tournament has Big Aries Energy—especially this one. This Aries season, Mars moved into Pisces, the sign of big dreams—you know, like a national championship. Saturn, which
calls the sky’s “dyke Daddy,” is also in Pisces, providing a bit of structure to help make those dreams a reality. It’s also eclipse season and Mercury will be retrograde during the Finals so truly anything could happen. Let chaos reign!Since Mars rules competition and sports and a person’s Mars sign can tell us a lot about how they take action and show up in conflict, I thought I would be fun to look at the Mars signs of some of the biggest names in the women’s tournament.
(A note: it was really interesting when I looked these players up because almost every one of them had a stellium in their personal placements—three or more planets in the same sign. That means that the energy of that sign is going to be very present for them, and I’ve noted which those are.)
Caitlin Clark, Iowa: Aries Mars. Aries Mars is fiery and competitive as hell, never backing down from a challenge and unafraid to take risks to win—like shooting threes from the logo. Clark was apparently kicked out of PE class as a child for being too competitive, which is big Aries Mars energy. Clark has an Aquarius stellium, with her sun, Mercury, and Venus all placed there. Aquarius is unafraid to stand out and is the ultimate team player, thriving when they’re working with—and for—the collective.
Angel Reese, LSU: Gemini Mars. Gemini Mars loves verbal sparring and will fight with words when they can. Reese is known for being chippy and not being afraid to unleash fighting words if she needs to—Gemini Mars, baby! Reese has a Gemini stellium, with her Mercury and Venus also being there. Gemini energy can be very adaptable and can thrive in a variety of circumstances and situations, making her a versatile player.
Paige Bueckers, UConn: Capricorn Mars. Capricorn is the work horse of the zodiac (or, more accurately, the mountain goat). A Cap Mars will put in the work and never, ever give up—like someone who has had to repeatedly battle back from injury after injury. Bueckers has a stellium in Libra, with her sun, Mercury, and Venus there2. Libra energy can be very easy-going and is great at bringing people together—the ultimate diplomat, which makes for a great point guard. But don’t be fooled—Libra is very concerned with fairness. If Bueckers thinks something unfair is going down, she’s going to go to the mat to fight for what she thinks is right.
JuJu Watkins, USC: Aries Mars. Like Clark, Watkins is battle-tested and battle-ready and competitive as all hell. You don’t need to tell her she’s the best—she already knows she is (but those two Leo placements, in Mercury and Venus, will never get sick of hearing it!). The future of college WBB is looking bright when Watkins takes up the mantle after all these big name seniors move on this year. “JuJu Watkins” is the only Big Name you’ll need to know.
Cameron Brink, Stanford: Pisces Mars. Brink’s senior season and final March Madness is happening during her Mars return, making this an ideal time for her to really make the most of her natal Mars energy. Her Capricorn stellium (sun, Mercury, Venus) is evident, too, in the way she shows up so consistently and doggedly and has quietly made herself the best shot blocker in college basketball. She doesn’t need to talk a big game; her play—and therefore the work—speaks for itself.
Te-Hina Paopao, South Carolina: Leo Mars. Paopao has a Leo sun, too, so she shines when she’s in the spotlight. People often think of Leos as being performers and liking attention, which can absolutely show up in the sports arena. Paopao thrives in front of an audience and is made for the biggest stage in the game, which is what she has playing under Dawn Staley. Leo, being a fixed sign, will persevere and never give up. It’s a sign that can be selfish and self-centered if they believe they are right or the best for the job, but they’ll also be an incredibly loyal friend—and teammate.
A few fun facts on coaches for folks who will know what this means: Depending on her birth time, South Carolina coach Dawn Staley may also have a stellium—hers being in Taurus, including her sun—and her Mars is in Gemini. LSU coach Kim Mulkey is also a Taurus, but has an Aries Mars. UConn’s Geno Auriemma is an Aries with a Sagittarius Mars, and Iowa’s Lisa Bluder is another Aries, with a Cancer Mars.
March Madness reading
TOGETHXR put together this really incredible guide to where to watch women’s sports, including the NCAA Women’s March Madness tourney. I had no idea there was a brewery near me committed to prioritizing having women’s sports on TV and I’m so excited to check it out!
In case you missed it, I wrote about why all the hype for the women’s tournament is great, but equal opportunity exploitation is still exploitation.
Audi Crooks, that’s it, that’s the tweet
Drew Magary has written a “hater’s guide to Kim Mulkey” with the headline “Kim Mulkey is an asshole” and calling her “the Cruella de Vil of basketball,” but as many long-time fans have noted, these puff pieces about her still serve to soften her harmful impact
Speaking of Kim Mulkey, there is apparently a Washington Post story publishing this week about her and she has decided to try to get out in front of it by essentially calling it fake news and saying that “this is why people don’t trust journalists” anymore. Her talking points come right out of the right-wing, Trumpian playbook and the fact that she took time from a post-game presser during the March Madness tournament to read a prepared statement tells me that the allegations in the story are going to be pretty big. She has also threatened to “sue” the Post should they run their story, and something tells me that the paper that published the Pentagon Papers won’t be too scared of Mulkey.
At
, profiled NC State's Jannah Eissa, the ACC's first hijab-wearing basketball player. She is one of two hijabi women playing in the NCAA tourament; the other is Diaba Konaté, a French player from University of California, Irvine.At
, wonders why the University of Iowa student newspaper, the Daily Iowan, has gotten no one-on-one time with Caitlin Clark. It’s a good question, imo. “Caitlin Clark, Iowa student, has had no one-on-one times with… the Iowa students assigned to cover her.”NCAA men’s basketball players are the new faces of Skims loungewear collection, continuing their partnership with basketball players/leagues
Here for sapphic cheerleader/athlete content, always:
@_sydneyfraserThey are the real life definition of a girl crush. #umich #michigan #michiganwomensbasketball #umichwbb #ncaawbb #michiganwbb #umichbasketball #womensbasketball #wbb #womensbball🏀 #college #umichdanceteam #umichwomensbball #studentathlete #goblue #michiganbasketball #basketballteam #collegebasketball #collegesports #girlcrush #shero #womensupportingwomen #womencrushwednesday #ilovewomen #girlpower #womeninsports #womenempowerment #womenpower #femaleathletes #inlove #crush #obsessed
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General sports-related reading
In the ultimate “knowing your fanbase” partnership, the Portland Thorns have announced a partnership with Fletcher
No one asked for this: Caitlyn Jenner and Lamar Odom are teaming up for a sports podcast.
Palestine has shown up for FIFA but FIFA won’t show up for Palestine
Planet Fitness has stood by their support for trans folks using the locker room of their choice after a trans woman was harassed at one of their locations in Alaska. The perpetrator was also banned from Planet Fitness for taking photos of the trans woman in the locker room. “Planet Fitness affirmed its nondiscrimination policy and stated that ‘discomfort is not a reason to deny access’ to a locker room that align with a customer’s sense of self,” Nico Lang wrote at Queer News Daily. “‘Our gender identity non-discrimination policy, states that members and guests may use the gym facilities that best align with their sincere, self-reported gender identity,’ the company stated. ‘The member who posted on social media violated our mobile device policy that prohibits taking photos of individuals in the locker room, which resulted in their membership being terminated.’”
PWHL Toronto’s 11-game winning streak just became the longest winning streak in the city’s history, previously set by the Maple Leafs with a 10 game streak in 1993. It’s PWHL Toronto’s first season; the Maple Leafs have been around since 1927.
Speaking of PWHL Toronto, they asked their players which Taylor Swift era they were currently in (Carly Jackson said “Fearless,” Sarah Nurse said “Lover”):
Backed by six other member associations, the Palestinian Football Association put forth a proposal to adopt sanctions against Israel at upcoming FIFA 74th Congress, via
How the Women’s Super League became the pinnacle of UK sapphic culture
Stefanie Dolson hard-launched her new girlfriend and it’s very cute
Cal Calamia became the first winner of the non-binary division at the Los Angeles Marathon (they also won the non-binary division of the New York City Marathon last fall)
The Celtics did an all-female broadcast for what they called “women’s empowerment month” and I am so tired.
The Paris Olympics have lifted the “intimacy ban” that was put in place for the 2020 Games and will be handing out 300,000 condoms to athletes (lesbian athletes are shrugging) (also never forget the sex toy company advertising scandal at the 2020 Games lol)
The NFL network aired a special on Connie Carberg, the first woman to be an NFL scout
Sports Illustrated may be back from the dead (sort of)
Lil Nas X ran the NYC Half Marathon in high-tops and I’m obsessed
Autostraddle gives us the best training montages of all time
For Slate, Julie Kliegman3 interviewed queer comedian Mo Welch about why it’s so hard to find funny jokes about women’s sports4: “It’s hack shit. It’s just stale. It’s not creative,” Welch said about the tired jokes so many (male) comedians make about women’s sports. “I’m not saying everyone needs to go up there and wave a WNBA flag, but if you’re going to make a joke about the WNBA, at the very least be creative.”
In Seattle, women’s sports bar Rough and Tumble Pub and queer bookstore Charlie’s Queer Books are curating selections of sports books with a focus on women. If you’re local to them you can purchase the books in either location, or check out their recommendations on Instagram.
A group of NC Courage fans have spoken out about the team’s front-of-jersey sponsor, America First Credit Union: “The phrase ‘America First’ has a long history rooted in racism, fascism, and hateful ideology.”
Bradford William Davis is at Front Office Sports talking about why Shohei Ohtani’s gambling scandal is just the beginning: “Leagues show no interest in protecting themselves from gambling’s inevitable abuses and scandals.”
The owner of the Kansas City Chiefs has threatened to leave the city if voters don’t give the team half a billion dollars which, sure
I adore Keke Palmer on Sha’Carri Richardson:
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Culture-related reading
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