i'm only patriotic when there are trans people involved
i'm only patriotic when there are trans people involved
happy july 4th, nikki hiltz is repping the U.S. in paris
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On the last night of Pride Month, Nikki Hiltz won the women’s 1500m at the U.S. Olympic Trials. They ran a personal best 3:55.33—the second fastest 1500m ever by an American. Their victory made them the first openly non-binary U.S. track athlete to qualify for the Olympics.
The finish of their race—featuring their signature kick—was one of the most exciting I’ve seen in a long time.
I profiled Hiltz for Runner’s World last year. They are truly one of the coolest people I’ve ever had the opportunity to spend time with and writing the cover story about them is a highlight of my career. It’s not often you meet someone and they exceed any expectations you have for them. Hiltz is one of those people and seeing their success is such a joy. The 2021 Trials were a devastating experience for them and to see them come back the way they did is nothing short of incredible. I’m not one for inspiration porn-type framing, but this may be as close as I get.
In honor of Hiltz qualifying for Paris, I’m unlocking and re-sharing the newsletter I sent out in August 2023 about the writing of that profile. There are a lot of new people here since that time and it’s a great introduction to my writing and to Nikki Hiltz. Consider this my nod to the fact that it’s the Fourth of July here in the U.S., too. I’m patriotic if there are trans people involved and that’s about it.
By 2023, I had been trying to profile Nikki Hiltz for two years. In the summer of 2021, when they were competing in the Olympic trials to qualify for the Tokyo Games (in what ended up being a disastrous showing for them) I pitched several outlets about the athlete who could be the first openly non-binary person to run track at the Olympics. As usual, the bar for coverage was impossibly high. Pitch us again if they make the Olympics, was the reply from everyone I pitched.
So I was thrilled last November when Runner's World popped into my inbox with a story commission. Would I like to profile Hiltz? The answer was a resounding yes.
In December 2022 I traveled to Flagstaff, Arizona to spend time with Hiltz, the (now) first openly non-binary U.S. national track and field champion. Hiltz is a delight and if you don't follow them on social media (particularly TikTok), I suggest you get on that now. They are sociable and funny and someone I could imagine myself being friends with if not for journalistic boundaries etc.
The result of that trip was the Fall 2023 cover story of Runner's World magazine, my very first cover. The subtle trans flag along the side of the magazine made me tear up.
As is usual, a lot of fun writing got lost in the editorial process. I met Hiltz the night after the full moon in Gemini during Sagittarius season and in my original drafts of this story, astrology played a much bigger role in the narrative (is it really a queer story if you don't make astrology references?). Here's a little peek.
“Did you see the moon last night?” they ask me as a greeting. It’s the morning after the full moon in Gemini during Sagittarius season. I did, in awe of how it lit up the desert sky, like someone had turned on a lamp in the black expanse. Hiltz left out a glass of water under the night sky to charge under the moon. They tell me that their moon and rising sign are Gemini, a sign known for its quick-thinking and its duality. (Some characterize this as being two-faced, but I like to think of as adaptive and chameleon-like.) This Gemini full moon asked us to pay attention to the narratives we tell, both to and about ourselves, according to tarot writer Meg Jones Wall, which felt like a fitting time for Hiltz to sit down and share their story with me, a Sagittarius...
This Gemini duality is apparent in other aspects of their life, as well. Hiltz’s very existence requires them to hold many things at once, all the time. They are an athlete and an advocate; they exist both within and outside of the gender binary; they are a self-identified king racing in the women’s division. Imagine the joy, then, as they get to cross the finish line, the first person doing it in a body like theirs. They can exist simply as a champion—nothing more, nothing less. In that moment, they are whole.
I can’t wait to root for Hiltz in Paris. They run for themselves, but they run for us, too.
May have had a *little* cry reading this (re-reading this? Was I subscribed to your newsletter last August?) on the train home from a weekend with my girlfriend. "They can exist simply as a champion—nothing more, nothing less. In that moment, they are whole." is a really fucking powerful line.